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| he came to the family lunch...those who talked to him loved him, thought we were good together, he liked m grandpa, he thought colby was weird, he was amazing. i was happy, he didnt mind. he made a comment about how happy i was, and why? and he liked it. we have been great since then. we have talked, seen each other, this morning we went shopping, got breafast,he came over to see mac and install my light timer switch. we have talked about things we both want. we have been good. i even told himi was scared that things were perfect . i have reason to be i guess, but i havent had the thought since i told him about it. (its true last time things were this good, he said he did not know what he wanted) but seriously this week alone the things that come outof his mouth....you better not die, because then i wouldn have you any more,our kids willalwasy have eggs to eat, and more... its been realy great. i love feeling like things are great.. i love feeling secure. ilove feeling like we both want the same things. which s probably the best thing about it all. im happy! | | |
| i truely am struggling lately. i am not completely sure why, its not like anyone has done anything to me,or anything has really changed, or anything...but i am truely struggling with being happy, content, inspired, and motivated. i just cant get past the "negative" that i am not even sure what is negative. but im just battling being in a grump mood, and truely grumpy not even bad grumpy. i had my brother come out and surprise me with a pumpkin shake on my birthday even though i told him not to, i went up to oak glen with adam and got cider and doughnuts and he suggested pictures and cider and a pumpkin and simply a great time. work is giong well,my kids are making great progress and we are getting to the point of self help being mastered so we can work on academic stuff and potty training, i run closes still and people kinda acknowledge that, and people have complimented my craft ideas, i have been seeing adam multiple times a week, tlaking to him, missing him alot, mac is good, i went to vegas and had lots of fun... but somehow im grumpy... why????? adam did forget my birthday again, vegas really did make me not want to drink or ever get buzzed again and as i look back i really wonder about a few decisions i made that night, work forgot my birthday which really was irritating, my car is struggling, and i wont make it to my savings goal by the end of the year and money seems to be on my brain a lot because im done with school so i will soon have more expenses which will be hard. but really....lets recap, i OWN a home, I OWN a car, I have a GREAT dog, I have friends, I have a full time dream position job, I have a BA, I have a boyfriend who wants to marry me, I have some savings, so deep down I know i am doing really well and life is good and ive made a lot of my life...but being even better seems to be a struggle right now, and i am not sure how i feel about it. while i want to be the best always there are some prices i would have to pay for that at the moment. so, i really need to just realize im good some even say great or "amazing" but i need to see that for myself. and i am not sure how to do that. :( so the battle continues, hopefully to be resolved soon,because always being grumpy is simply no fun. Do it for NW!! | | |
| it is still great....there have been days in unhappy, there have been times he does not text often, but oh my....it is still pretty amazing. we have gone fishing a few more times, we have seen movies, we have gotten dinner, we have simply been together....it is still good thats all i have to say. | | |
| well, i saw him for 2 hours in the middle of the day on a monday we were both off. then i saw himthe next night all night long. then i saw him a few nights later on friday night all night long, then saturday night AT MY HOUSE all night long, and it included shopping, making me dinner, and taking mac to play at the volleyball court, and then I saw him sunday for lunch and some more shopping...and then i saw him monday night all night long again.... can you say happy overload. i am so loving how he has been the last week. there havent been TONS of texts, but there have been enough with questions and nice things to say that i am squeaky...and we all know that seeing tends to keep the squeaking coming as well, and then you include that we had like a real life couple night and i saw him the day before and after and you have a VERY unbelieveably extacic and squeaky squeaker....i think i would be there tonight if i was not so dead and wanting to not move for a very long time.... it is simply great.i hope he can keep this up forever, because this is the guy that i fell in love with ,and know that will be perfect to spend the rest of my life with. i never said he had to always be this great, but half the time it should be, and i should alwasy see and talk to him, and it should be great other than the occasional bad day or two for either of us.... but no matter what my worries are about how long it will be tihs good, for right now i am simply extacic about his wonderfulness...and very very squeaky! | | |
| things have been so incredibly amazing lately...
there has been so much going on, soem good some bad some just stuff.
I finally started the job of my dreams and while there have been bad days, long days, hard days, and amazingly great days...it is AMAZING. there have been bites, bumps on heads, tears, talking back for sure. but there has also been an incredibly happy to see my kid every day after nap, a hug from half my class at least every morning i get to work, me being the special person in one kids life ( he and I have something and it makes everyone pretty happy), learning new things to do with kids, planning a whole day by myself with kids and it going amazing, watching them progress even in just a month, and taking some cute pictures of some of the fun we have had it has simply been incredible.
then there has been some time with family. holidays, gifts, gatherings where everyone actually showed up. finding out a younger cousin was pregnant, a grandma fracturing her foot, a grandpa in and out of the hospital with a stroke and many other issues, a brother who is simply put him and yet making some little progress in growing up, some time with an older cousin doing long awaited plans, time catching up drinking beer and somehow not playing pool. it has been good, learning about family and keeping up with the ones im closest to.
then there's friends. they kinda go hand in hand with family to me but still there is just something different there that I have a hard time accepting...they all really do want me to be around and enjoy me for me and I have a HARD time realizing that. but we have had fun, meeting new puppies, seeing new rental houses, my first game of beer pong, some texts to make some random plans, going ot rodeos, simply talking to people has just been amazing. things with a special someone have been rocky and yet great at the same time, I still have my issues but this weekend was super special and awesome to me in its own way of simple communication.
I have to say life has been a lot of emotions lately but its been incredible for me to watch it all come together....house, job, friends, family, puppy, goals, dreams,....it has all simply been INCREDIBLE!!
I can't wait to see what is to come. | | |
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